Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Death is Precious?

Psalms 116:15 "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints."

I have no idea what this means. I'm thinking something's been incorrectly translated here. As many of you know, we are hard at work on the Smiling Preacher's Study Bible, which will utilize the new POS (Positive Outlook for Success) Version, developed right here at Lakewood.

Note to self: Recommend to the POS translation committee that we go with something like the following ideas in order to fix the obvious error above.

"Very, very sad in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."

"A lot like poo-poo in the sight of the Lord..."

"Really stinky in the sight of the Lord..."

Or, we could fix the last bit, instead of changing "precious":

"...of the Lord is the abundant life of his saints."

No, wait! I've got it: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the Best Life Now of his saints."

This still doesn't resonate with my spirit, though. God, I know you desire the best life now for your saints; but I also know you want everyone to have their best lives now. Saint or not.

Okay, how's this, then? "Precious in the sight of the Lord is everyone in the world having their Best Life Now."

I'm feelin' it, oh yes. I'm getting a witness now. That's good, praise God.

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Oh, man, five minutes later now. I just happened to look up and see that rat-bastard Rick Warren on the news channel. What a poser! Ha! He just can't get over the fact that I trumpted his behind like I did. Which would you rather have, a stupid, dorky Purpose Driven Life, or Your Best Life?

Ha! I thought so. That charlatan should just give it up. It's obvious that Jesus likes me more. I could out-preach Rick Warren with one tongue tied behind my back. Hey, I just thought of something: Warren rhymes with boring, sort of. Wait! No, you've got to pronounce it like "borin." Ha, ha, praise God. Rick Warren is Borin' !! Rick Borin'. Oh man, my spirit is gettin' blessed so good right now! Ha, ha!

Whooooo! I better stop before I just float on up to heaven. Thank you, Jesus!

Thought for the day: Precious in the sight of the Lord is Joel Osteen...but not Rick Borin'!!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

is this guy for real? Pathetic!