Hmmm. How come nobody told me about this?
Lord, I admit that this scares me a little. The thought that someone on my staff has apparently launched an entire stinkin' fleet of passenger jets without telling me about it....! I really thought You had put me in charge!
This is very disconcerting, is all I can say. I'm going to have to look into this. I know they all hate me secretly...all the staff. They think the only reason I'm the pastor is because my daddy left me in charge of the ultra-mega church he had built. They're still jealous that I walked into a 7-figure salary without doing anything more than graduating high school. I hear rumors that some of them say that if I was just a regular preacher out there, I'd be lucky to get hired by the Fourth Country Church of Podunk. I bet they would kill me if they thought they could get away with it.
Well, Lord Jesus, I'm not going to let them get away with it. I'm asking you to curse the staff at my church. Deliver them into my hands, that I may kill them all before they kill me.
Y'know who I really suspect? I bet there is a plant on my staff who is really being bankrolled by the Benny Hinn organization. That guy has always had it in for me, since the day we compared our monthly bill for hair care products and I had him undercut by 60%. I hear he's had all of his staff send seed-faith contributions to Lakewood so that God will bless them 100 times more than us! That little, stinkin' foreign rat-bastard! I'll show him: as soon as I post this I'm gonna write out a 50,000 dollar donation to his ministry! HA! Take that, you Middle-Eastern charlatan! And then I'm gonna write out a 100,000 dollar donation to Lakewood Church, and thus ensure that all the blessings stays in-house!!!! We'll just see whose seed-faith gift gets blessed, yessiree.
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1 comment:
you go Joel that is the spirit, dont let them pull you down, they just jeolous coz you kinda got it all..who wouldn't be hey, you have a sexy wife, good children, over-sized church, not to mention you preach well, forget about those haters, give yourself a pat coz you are blessed and they cant handle it, i love watching you preach and a week without your preaching feels like im running out of oxygen, thanks joel for all your work, may God keep on using you to be a blessing to others. my dream is to one day come to your church in Houston just to watch you preach LIVE. sheila (SOUTH AFRICA, JOHANNESBURG)
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